my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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