This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
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