He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
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