I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Randomize
