I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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