They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
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