Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
