I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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