it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
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