So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
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