On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
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