Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
How external is "for external use only"?
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
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