i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
