You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize
