Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
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