The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
