on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Come back. Shots need mouths.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
