You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
