yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
