so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
