I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
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It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
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My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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