ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
