Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
