I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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