Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
