Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
