the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
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