Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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