He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
