It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Randomize
