yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
