Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize