Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
