there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
