I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
