Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
