meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
this boner is exhausting
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Randomize
