I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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