I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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