you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
