so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
i already hear my dad disowning me
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
