around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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