i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
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