she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Randomize
