covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
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