Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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