the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
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I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
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Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
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