I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
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