Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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