Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
