he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
