halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
