U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
