I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
