We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
Four minutes until I can fart!
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Randomize
