some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
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