yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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