fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize