I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Randomize
