i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Randomize
