She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
